Swamp Woman (2023) Review – Voices From The Balcony

5


Swamp Woman Poster

Jim Morazzini

In 1983 Dr. Brody (Bob Glazier, I Slay on Christmas, Kill-Cam) and Biotech Prime are dumping highly radioactive waste into the environment. But as Brody tells the concerned Dr. Hooper (Joe Makowski, The Hart-Break Killer, Amerikan Holokaust), “Sometimes you’ve just gotta mind your own business”.

In the present, Dr. Angela Honeydew (Sushii Xhyvette Holder, Sammy Slick: Vampire Slayer, The Cheerleader Sleepover Slaughter) and her girlfriend Tura Satana (Lunathyst, Pandemic Thirst, Sushii’s Sex Seance) are relocating. Dr. Honeydew has taken a job with Biotech Prime, which she claims is a much different company than it used to be. 

It’s not long before Dr. Robert Olsen (Joel D. Wynkoop, Clownado, The Connection) sends his goons over to steal the formula she’s working on. She ends up with it spilled on her and, when she escapes into the swamp, it causes her body to fuse with her surroundings. Transformed into a literal swamp woman, she wants only two things, revenge and to save her girlfriend from the evil Dr. Olsen.

Swamp Woman 1

If this sounds like a genre switched version of Swamp Thing, you’re kind of right. Sean Donohue (Naked Cannibal Campers, Die Die Delta Pi) has made the exploitation, excuse me, sexploitation version of Craven’s film. The results are like something from pioneering Florida indie filmmaker William Grefé (Sting of Death, Death Curse of Tartu). If he had decided to shoot a nudie, that is.

And Swamp Woman is all about showing some skin. The film has barely started when our heroine tells her partner the drive is boring, so she needs to get her boobs out, which she promptly does, shortly after that, they’re taking a long shower together. And when Dr. Honeydew images from the swamp, she’s very green, very naked and her biggest worry is whether or not Tura will still have sex with her. And for those who want some peen on their screen, there is one to be seen shortly before it’s bitten off.

Swamp Woman 2

Donohue isn’t taking Swamp Woman remotely seriously, either, but that’s as it should be for a film like this. Dr. Honeydew gushes over how state of the art her lab is, and we see a kid’s microscope and a few other props on a table. When the formula gets spilled onto her, it spills out of a state of the art plastic cup. Knowing that the budget wasn’t going to allow for extensive props or effects, he went the other way and plays up the camp aspects of these kinds of films.

That extends to the performances as well, with Donohue, who plays Dr. F. Ranken as well as writing and directing Swamp Woman, delivering his dialogue in an exaggerated monotone as if reading from a teleprompter. It’s a direct contrast to Wynkoop, who delivers his usual way over the top performance. Speaking of over the top, Troma’s Lloyd Kaufman (Visitors (Complete Edition), The Toxic Avenger) has a cameo as Newscaster Kaufman. Rounding out the cameos, filmmaker Christopher Leto (Death Blow, Seeing Evil) appears as a cop.

Swamp Woman 3

Swamp Woman runs for just an hour, but it does its best to pack in plenty of boobs and jokes, including a reference to Porky’s funniest scene. Unfortunately, there isn’t much in the way of gore compared to many of Donohue’s films. There is a bloody scene from Marcus Koch’s film Rot shown as a flashback, connecting the two films via Dr. Olsen, something certainly wasn’t expecting.

If you’re looking for a serious film, or one with decent production values, Swamp Woman probably isn’t for you. But if you’re looking for something intentionally silly and with plenty of nudity to watch while you drink some beer, this should do fine.

Swamp Woman is available on Blu-ray as well as to stream on Troma Now.